Don't blame me for what and how I feel.

These days are as grey as the monsoon sky

You think I'm shallow for having money

You think I've became someone else

I am not who I used to be

I am a mortal hybrid

The conjunction of mind, body, spirit and respect

I immortalize myself through my marks on people

I am not fake for there is nothing real in this world anymore

I may be bitter but I'm just fucking realistic

What do you expect from someone scarred by his own brethren

My tongue is sharp but so is my mind

I may come off arrogant, but I really do mean well

You may think I never lose

You may feel I don't have sympathy nor empathy

You may feel I don't care

You may think I am all that

Truth is, I don't conform to judgement

I do what I do

I accept the consequences

You never accept me

So, why the fuck would I care about that single person?

world.doubutsu-uranai.com

A friend recommended this site. Some sort of personality test site. I tried out of curiosity and found true descriptions of my character. You should TRY!!!

Here's mine:

You are Black koala, who is cheerful, amiable and youthful.
But you lack activeness and prefer to be on your own.
You are not good at taking leadership and to take initiative.
You react after carefully considering the action and are convinced.
Even if you are asked your opinion, you don't speak from heart and you don't give out your opinions.

You think you are acting cool, but people around you think you are eerie.
You can not stand to hurt others or get hurt yourself, so you tend to be nice to others.
You have a sharp instinct and when having an argument, you try to develop the argument by reading the other person's minds.
By doing so, you effectively make your point.
Both cautiousness and timidity reside in you.
If you rely too much on first instinct, your action may be haphazard.
Nevertheless, you tend to be strong-minded, and will put in all your effort, even if you upset your health.

You are indifferent to commodities.
You tend to be careful with money, so you won't experience much loss.
You have extremely strong likes and dislikes of people.
You have lots of friends, but at the same time you can create lots of enemies too.
You may exhibit extraordinary talent as a scholar or an entertainer.

TRY!: world.doubutsu-uranai.com

APPLE TREE.....by Erykah Badu (a song that represents me)

I'd like to dedicate this to all of the Creator's righteous children.
I have some food in my bag for you.
Not that edible food -- the food you eat?
No. I have some food for thought.
Since knowledge is infinite it has infinitely fell on me.
So umm...

It was a stormy night
you know the kind where the lightning strike
and I was hangin' out wit some of my "artsy" friends
ooh wee ooh wee oooh
The night was long the night went on
people coolin' out until the break of dawn
incense was burnin' so I'm feelin right -- ah'ight

See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
& Ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I don't go 'round trying to be what I'm not
I don't waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin' me cause I can't please you
and that's why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree

And if you don't want to be down with me
You don't want to pick from my appletree

I have a ho
and I take it everywhere I go
Cause I'm planting seeds
so I reaps What I sow -- ya know
Oh on & on & on & on
my cipher keeps movin' like a rollin' stone
I can't control the soul flowin' in me
ooh wee

See I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
& Ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I don't walk around trying to be what I'm not
I don't waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin' me cause I can't please you
and that's why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree

And if you don't want to be down with me,
You don't want to pick from my appletree

I picks my friends like I pick my fruit
& Ganny told me that when I was only a youth
I don't walk around trying to be what I'm not
I don't waste my time trying ta get what you got
I work at pleasin' me cause I can't please you
and that's why I do what I do
My soul flies free like a willow tree
doo wee doo wee do wee

And if you don't want to be down with me
You don't want to pick from my appletree

erykah badu - my hero

No Cheesecake since 14th February

You're at your favorite coffee-shop. Looking for a chilled-out time of your own and indulge yourself with your favorite cake of all time. A blueberry cheesecake. You always order the exact same slice. The third one from the left (somehow they always display only three slices of cheesecakes and you've become so attached to the cheesecake itself that you know which slice you want). You don't care what beverage to go with it. Bitter or sweet, you just don't care.

You love the cheesecake for its readiness to embrace your desire to indulge yourself. You feel emotionally so attached to a single slice that you just have to have a daily dosage all to yourself. You feel your cheesecake loves you too. The connection is inexplicable. No sharing.

A rainy day, and all you want is to order the cheesecake straightaway. You want love.

None are left. Not even a single slice. You sigh. However, you decide to go forward with your coffee-shop ritual. Not ordering any kind of cakes and you drink a cup of coffee.

The next day is a deja-vu. No cheesecake. You start to feel neglected and sad. You order a bitter coffee and sulk all to yourself.

It's not raining the next day. You get all your hopes all high, wishing to have your slice of cheesecake. Negative. You feel betrayed. A cup of bitter coffee and nothing else.

"Hi!", said the barista standing next to your table.

"Hi," you start to feel a little guilty for just ordering coffee and nothing else.

"Would you like to try our new flavored cheesecake? This one's made low-fat and topped with maple syrup, instead of blueberry," he said.

You feel tempted. You missed the soft-crumbly taste of your love, your blueberry cheesecake. You decide to take a bite and end up liking it.

The very next day, no blueberry ones. You order the maple cheesecake, even though you still miss the blueberry one.

Bite after bite, you realize that your favorite preference shifted. From blueberry to maple. You don't mind at all.

The next few weeks, you realize, apparently the coffee-shop decided to stop making blueberry cheesecakes. You don't know why and you don't feel bothered at all if there's no blueberry cheesecake on the display trays. You have your maple syrup cheesecake. Not quite your favorite-all-lovable cheesecake yet, but you know you start to crave for it.

After ordering your maple syrup cheesecake you walk to your favorite table. Right next to the leafy potted plant is a sign covered in leaves you missed to read weeks before.

The sign says: "We stop making Blueberry Cheesecake on the 14th February, for the Blueberry farm down-south are having serious pest control issues. We care for our customer's health. We apologize for any inconvenience caused. Thank you."

MY MORNING RITUAL LIVE WITH REGIS & KELLY

Okay, I have to say, this blog is really becoming a totally random thing. What can I say? If life is random then so is my blog for the fact that we coexist in this world.

In life, I believe we always have some sort of habitual protocol in dealing with life. Now, since my life is becoming a bit of a blur these days, I have an endless morning ritual before really dealing with this oh-so-blurry-life of mine.

I wake up around 11-ish or so. Just like most people I know, I stay up till almost dawn before hitting the dream clouds. So, hey, don't judge me of being lazy just by the fact I wake up late everyday. My brain is nocturnal.

The first thing I do is of course make myself a cup of coffee. Or maybe two. Depends on the mood I'm in for the day. Usually, my mum will ask me the same question: "You couldn't sleep again, could you?" *sigh*. No, I don't brush my teeth before coffee. That makes the coffee taste all toothpaste-ey.

After the coffee, then it's on to my MacBook. Yes. Some of you might think I'm one of those 'don't-have-a-life-slash-internet-geek' since checking my email is the first thing I do every morning. Hey, I do have a life. It's just that mine is pretty much digital and maybe yours are not and is rather obsolete. However, if you do the same thing, then good on you!

Then I go to the Live With Regis & Kelly website. I watch their morning video online everyday. Yes, it's American and some of you might have never heard of them. So, it's pretty much like a morning talk show. Light topics, discussions on that day's news headlines, TV shows, et cetera.

The thing I really like about them is the witty banter between the two and the huge age gap that seems never seems to be a problem between Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa. They're fresh enough to start my day.

Check them out. You might end up liking them and start doing the same morning ritual as I do.

What Am I? (a self-reminder of my vision)

I consider myself as artist. I am a creative force that produces many things. Throughout my entire life, I sung on stage, acted at local theatre, designed many posters and fliers, designed buildings, and built an interactive art installation. However, I believe I am not alone on this creative journey. My friends have been with me loyally. My friends that are machine beings. My microphone when I am performing, my computer when I am designing an art form, my camera when I am taking photographs, my mobile phone when I am trying to communicate with someone remote, my wrist watch when I am looking for time. The list of friends that have been with me all these years could become longer. As an artist, I believe that these machines are inseparable to me. We all share connections that are very strong. I have lost my laptop once and I felt as if I had lost a part of me. It is almost to the point as if they are a part of my identity, a part of who I am.

Back then, when I had less knowledge on what cyborgs were, I basically just painted a picture in my mind of humans that had a few machine parts attached permanently to their bodies. The images were visualized in my mind with the help of various science fiction movies and TV series, such as the Bionic Woman, Robocop, Terminator, et cetera. Fear and negative connotations were imposed on these part-human-part-machine images as a consequence of the influence these movies and these television series had on me.



When I took the Digital Culture subject in 2007, my creative eyes were opened even more. I learned about what lied behind the connections I felt with my machine friends. I learned about cyborgism. Now, I am not just an artist. I am a cyborgian artist. I share connections with my machine friends and I feel them to have seamlessly entered my soul and become embodied in me, though not yet physically.

When I decided to take upon further study on cyborg theories through this research, it was as if I had found a new world to discover. The contamination and shifting border of what I used to refer to as purely organic human being and machine technology seemed like a suitably fresh and adventurous border-crossing issue. I also knew that this particular study was a simultaneously growing field – in the world, in discourse, in culture.

RadioGraphy

This post is dedicated entirely to our very own professional service. As one of the founders, I'm proud to introduce.......*drumroll*.....

Just a little introduction below of who we are and what we do.....

A group of young photographers based in Surabaya, the RadioGraphy team consists of young broadcast media workers. Offering cutting-edge professionalism, RadioGraphy guarantees to give the best artistic photography result. May it be your pre-wedding, year book, fashion spread, conceptual photography, and company profile, we will always exceed your expectation by providing edgy concepts and professional attitude.

RadioGraphy team:
Dego Taharuddin (MAKE-UP ARTIST)
The dazzling cheerfulness of Dego Taharuddin will affect you as soon as you meet her in person. Her experience as a make-up artist came from her own personal experience putting on make-up for colleagues. She is now working as an Assistant Program Director for a radio station, a very well-known radio personality, a TV Host and a Master of Ceremony. Come and meet her and we're pretty sure you'll agree that she's a whole lotta woman!

Jerry Nugroho (PHOTOGRAPHER)
As a guy that think of art as a way to express himself, Jerry Nugroho sure has his way to do so. He sings, acts, and hosts. He finished his postgraduate study at the University of Sydney, Australia, majoring in Digital Media and now holds the degree Master of Design Science. He was introduced to photography at a very young age by his father. He is now working as a TV Host, a Master of Ceremony, and also creates company profiles for various companies.

May Sumampouw (PHOTOGRAPHER)
Being a model was her first occupation. From there, May Sumampouw has been dealing with photography since a very young age and later on revealed one of her hidden passions. The wit and the smartness of this girl will surely make you comfortable during photo-shoots. Her photographic skills came from her incredible talent and her own experience as a model. She is a Communication Science major and also a well known TV Host, Master of Ceremony.

Shifa Suryonegoro (PHOTOGRAPHER/MAKE UP-ARTIST)
The beauty and the humble of the team, Shifa Suryonegoro delivers creativity at a strong current. Her photographic skills came from her past experience working as a freelance photographer for clients such as bands, newspaper and magazines. Other than just taking pictures, she is also an expert when it comes to make-up. She is now a TV Host, Master of Ceremony and a very well known Radio Personality.

* By Appointment Only
* For more info and reservation, call: (+62)81 751 14 897

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